Things 2020 Still Has in Store for Us

The list for July 24, 2020
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Australia on fire, a deadly pandemic, murder
hornets, a NEW swine flu, and the shuttering
of restaurants, bars and sports leagues…

What additional craziness do we
have to look forward to this year?

The Top 16 Things 2020
Still Has in Store for Us

  1. New study revealing that oxygen causes cancer

  2. Announcement from Pharaoh that we will now have to gather our own straw

  3. Brain-eating zombie koalas

  4. Get ready to meet the Homicidal Wasps! Unfortunately, it’s not the deadly insect, it’s Ben Shapiro’s new ’80s cover band.

  5. September: Bert &Ernie murder/suicide

  6. Supreme Court ruling gives Grammar Police broad death penalty powers.

  7. Hurricane Kanye

  8. Solar probe accidentally punctures sun, lets out all the hydrogen

  9. Pantsless robot monkeys

  10. Sudden appearance of an adorable new character

  11. WWE introduces new assortment of wrestling villains named after Confederate generals.

  12. Depleted NFL adopts six-man football rules

  13. Corgiraptors

  14. Martians invade but leave after a few hours because even they don’t want this dumpster fire.

  15. Social distanced MMA, featuring the hurling of insults
And the Number 1 Thing 2020 Still Has in Store for Us…

  1. Good news: Chocolate raining from the sky! Bad news: It’s dark chocolate.

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CREDITS
Selected from 94 submissions from 29 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 1 (18th #1)
  • Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT — 2
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 3
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 4
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — 5, 14, list moderator
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 6
  • Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 7, 15
  • Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA — 8
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 9, 12
  • Richie Ruben, Hackensack, NJ — 10
  • Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 11
  • Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 13
  • Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 16
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