Things Overheard in Voting Lines

The list for November 3, 2020
The Top 16 Things
Overheard in Voting Lines

  1. "I knew we should have packed a lunch. And a tent."

  2. "Hello Comrade, er, dude. I wish to vote for big orange man who will make America great like mighty Russia!"

  3. "How do you spell ‘Perot’?"

  4. "No need for exit polling; just count the people in line wearing masks vs those not wearing them."

  5. "I may have came for the voting, but I’m staying for the race war."

  6. "Are they honking because they support democracy, because they *hate* democracy, or is it just because we’re blocking the road?"

  7. "Hey… Macarena! Not bad, everyone! Let’s try again."

  8. "It seems like every election we have to wait longer and longer for our vote to not be counted."

  9. "Do we Democrats have to wait in line EVERY time we vote today?"

  10. "I haven’t seen lines this long since Charlie Sheen’s birthday party."

  11. "Welcome to the Houston drive-thru polling place. I’ll need to see your driver’s license, Social Security card, organ donor card, birth certificate, Blockbuster Video membership ca— oh, Republican? Sorry, go right ahead."

  12. "Sir, you can check my backpack all you want, but we BOTH know what this empty bottle is for."

  13. "Wait, this isn’t the line for COVID testing?"

  14. "No, I’m not old enough to vote, but I will be by the time I get to the ballot box."

  15. "We’re getting close. I can see the gunfire from here."
And the Number 1 Thing Overheard in Voting Lines…

  1. "Crap, I forgot my guy’s name! It’s the really old white dude, if that helps."

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CREDITS
Selected from 54 submissions from 19 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Andrea Kelly, Brookeville, MD — 1 (2nd #1)
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — 2, 5, 13 (Hat trick!)
  • Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 3
  • Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT — 3
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 4
  • Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 6, 15, topic
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 7
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — 8, list moderator
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 9
  • Elizabeth Black, Asotin, WA — 10
  • Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 11
  • Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — 12
  • Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 14
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 16
  • Danny Gallagher, TX — Topic
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