Signs the Transition Isn’t Going Smoothly

The list for January 22, 2021
The Top 20 Signs the Transition
Isn’t Going Smoothly

  1. Bed in Lincoln Bedroom has a sunken impression of Rudy.

  2. All your new cabinet members ask for pre-emptive pardons, "You know, just in case."

  3. Former head of the Space Force took the instructions for the half-built Lego Death Star.

  4. The VP Office’s private bathroom only has a urinal.

  5. Big Mac wrappers still in bottom desk drawer, along with knee pads left over from the Clinton administration.

  6. The outgoing president retroactively pardoned the Confederacy.

  7. With business down 400%, the closest McDonald’s to the White House requests an emergency federal bailout.

  8. Unemployment rate jumps due to workers who are no longer needed to make Lady Gaga’s skirt.

  9. EPA called in to scrub the orange ring from the White House residence bathtub.

  10. Both Melanias show up to pack up their things.

  11. "So if I’m the Second Gentleman, Kamala, who the hell is the first?"

  12. White House kitchen staff require extensive retraining on the preparation and serving of vegetables.

  13. Old issues of Hustler and Screw hidden in the Resolute Desk.

  14. The Secret Service lost sight of Nicholas Cage for sixty seconds and now Air Force One is missing.

  15. The derisive nickname industry has totally collapsed.

  16. White House grounds has no place to park the new president’s horse and buggy.

  17. Melania forgot to leave the deadbolt key to her bedroom.

  18. Even YOUR press secretary is calling you Sleepy Joe.

  19. You’re being sworn in by that viking/buffalo hat guy.
And the Number 1 Sign the Transition Isn’t Going Smoothly…

  1. Barron has greased the White House stairs and there’s a bucket of cement hanging from the East Room chandelier.

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Selected from 100 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Mike Vance, Houston, TX — 1, 8 (2nd #1)
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 2
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 3
  • Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 4
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 5
  • Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA — 6
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 7
  • Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 9
  • Mark Zinck, Grand Rapids, MI — 10
  • Richard Skora, Columbus, OH — 11
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 12
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 13
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 14, 18
  • Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 15
  • Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA — 16
  • Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA — 16
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — 17, list moderator
  • Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 19
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 20

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