Better Team Names for the Washington Redskins

The list for July 15, 2020
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Under pressure from their corporate sponsors, the
NFL’s Washington Redskins have decided it’s finally
time to change the team’s name. Many people feel
“Redskins” is insensitive or even outright racist—
and unsurprisingly, many others think it’s just fine.
The Top 25 Better Team Names
for the Washington Redskins

  1. The Washington Thinskins

  2. The Washington Mewling Toadies

  3. The DC Partisan Hacks

  4. The Washington Rainbow-Shitting Unicorns

  5. The Washington Swamp Things

  6. The Washington WWG1WGA’s (Brought to you by Bristol-Myers Squibb, makers of Abilify. Ask your doctor if Abilify is right for you.)

  7. The Washington Hippo Critters

  8. The DC Pearl Clutchers

  9. The Washington Permission-Askers

  10. The Washington Jeffrey Epstein Didn’t Commit Suicides

  11. The Trump Properties

  12. The Washington Punk Ass Bitches

  13. The DC Snipers

  14. The Washington Edskins-ray

  15. The Washington Massive Deficits

  16. The Washington Confederate Statues

  17. The Washington Non-Racial Asexual Secular Apolitical Gender-Neutral Inoffensiveskins

  18. Lady R

  19. The Washington Godless Pelosis

  20. The Washington Unindicted Co-Conspiritors

  21. The Washington Mighty Lame Ducks

  22. The Capitol Punishment

  23. The Washington Crimson Dermas

  24. The Washington Not-Worth-a-Shit-Since-Joe-Gibbs-Left
And the Number 1 Better Team Name for the Washington Redskins…

  1. The DC Comics

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CREDITS
Selected from 136 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 1 (25th #1)
  • Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA — 2, 14
  • Kevin Freels, Moraga, CA — 3
  • Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 3, 13
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 4
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 5, 23
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 6
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, Brooklyn, NY — 7, 16
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 8
  • Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 8, 20
  • Matt Kall, Solon, OH — 9, 21
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 10
  • Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 11, 25
  • Peg Warner, Gonic, NH — 12
  • Slick Sharkey, Clayton, GA — 15
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 17
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 18, topic
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 19
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 21
  • Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — 21
  • Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY — 21
  • Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 21
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — 22, list moderator
  • Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT — 23
  • Richard Skora, Columbus, OH — 24
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 25
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 25
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