GOOD Changes the Pandemic Has Brought About

The list for June 18, 2020
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For today’s list, let’s look
on the bright side of things…

The Top 17 GOOD Changes the
Pandemic Has Brought About

  1. Morning drinking was frowned upon back when you had a job.

  2. When you never take your pajamas off, your laundry costs plummet.

  3. No more weapons-grade cheeck pinches from Aunt Olga.

  4. Distinct linear growth in the number of Americans who understand exponential growth.

  5. You’ve accumulated enough Amazon boxes to construct a second home.

  6. No longer have to make the tough financial choice between buying a new AR-15 and taking the kids to see Ted Nugent.

  7. Masturbation: Not Just For Nerds Anymore!

  8. With Zoom and FaceTime, we don’t have to smell Grandma anymore.

  9. Watching racists lose their job after posting garbage on Facebook has officially become a new kink.

  10. Loosening of the Fitness Industry’s stranglehold on us all.

  11. The mask makes it easier for your wife to pretend you’re Johnny Depp.

  12. Spending 24/7 alone with family increases chances of an acquittal.

  13. Melania can give the headache excuse a rest and claim she’s social distancing instead.

  14. Your mother-in-law hasn’t been over since early March.

  15. Colonoscopy postponed!

  16. Since your pimp died from COVID, you get to keep all your earnings.
And the Number 1 GOOD Change the Pandemic Has Brought About…

  1. We now know which friends and family members have at least a middle school understanding of science.
Selected from 74 submissions from 27 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 1 (23rd #1)
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 2, 4
  • Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 3
  • Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 4
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — 5, 12, list moderator
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 6
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 7, 11
  • Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 8, 14
  • Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — 9
  • Bruce W. Alter, Fairfax Station, VA — 10
  • Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 13
  • Richie Ruben, Hackensack, NJ — 13
  • Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 15
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 16
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX — 16
  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 17

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