Suggested Replacement Statues

The list for June 26, 2020

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

Since America is busy rethinking
exactly which historical figures
deserve to be honored with statues,
we thought we’d offer some suggestions…

The Top 17 Suggested Replacement Statues

Southern military hero Colonel Harland Sanders
Pantsless Ted Kennedy hoisting highball glass
J. Edgar Hoover in an evening gown
Jeffrey Epstein definitely NOT hanging himself
David Schwimmer’s sweet, sweet ass
Human of Indeterminate Age, Race, Creed, Gender, Body Type, Sexual Preference, Height, Nationality, Political Preference, Handedness, Privilege, Intelligence, Ethnicity, Dialect or Pronoun Preference, wearing a mask
Non-essential worker on the couch watching Netflix
Bezos and Zuckerberg searching for their humanity
Our Black friend
Tomb of the Unmasked Shopper
The Pompitous of Love
That Girl in Reno That One Time
Meghan Markle flushing a crown down the toilet
Joe Biden searching for his car keys
Statue of Robert E. Lee’s statue being pulled down
Karen calling the cops

And the Number 1 Suggested Replacement Statue…

Guy in Confederate flag cap and "AMERICA LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!" tank top stomping on the Angel of Irony

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CREDITS

Selected from 87 submissions from 33 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

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