The list for March 1, 2013
The Top 16 Things the Pope’s Going
to Do During His Retirement
to Do During His Retirement
- Fire up the ol’ smoker barbecue and announce the christening of a new slab of ribs.
- Perfect his performance art piece for Burning Man.
- Dispatch Darth Vader to deal with that pesky Rebel Alliance.
- Get really wasted, fire up Final Cut Pro, and make a mashup of "It’s a Wonderful Life" and "The Exorcist."
- Try that "eat meat on Fridays" thing everyone’s been raving about.
- Work on ending the cover-up of rampant pedophelia within the church. Just kidding! He’s getting his nipples pierced.
- Start a new "Vatican Shake" trend on YouTube. shja 9> Excommunicate teenagers off the lawn.
- Excommunicate teenagers off the lawn.
- Take his red shoes to the local karaoke and give "Over the Rainbow" a shot.
- Re-read all his back issues of, "Nuns &Nazis."
- Finally free to contribute to HumorLabs lists again!
- Pitch his idea for a new reality show: "So You Think You’re Infallible?"
- Split time between his two scared passions: helping the poor and formulating the ultimate low-carb, digestive-tract-cleansing, nacho-cheese flavored Eucharist wafer.
- What every washed-up celebrity does: "Dancing with the Stars," baby.
- Figure out where that "old man" smell in the pope-mobile is coming from.
And the Number 1 Thing the Pope’s Going to Do During His Retirement…
- Goodbye, manna from Heaven. Hello, hookers from Fresno!
.
CREDITS
Selected from 95 submissions from 33 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 1 (24th #1)
- Shaune R. Stark, Cedar Park, TX — 2
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 3
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 4, Topic
- Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 5
- Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA — 6, 12
- Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA — 6
- M.J. Finan, Cleveland, OH — 7
- Steve Huntington, San Jose, CA — 8
- Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 9
- Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 10
- Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 10
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 10, 16
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 11
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH — 11
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 13
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 14
- Richard Koppinger, Old Bridge, NJ — 15
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
- Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA — Topic
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
T5030113.shtml
