The list for February 15, 2013
The Top 16 Things on Cupid’s To-Do List
- Renew my concealed archer’s permit.
- Prank Hawkeye by switching quivers with him, resulting in Loki falling in love with Hawkeye.
- Get some heavy-duty arrows for increasingly fatter American asses.
- Figure out how the hell John Mayer keeps gaming the system.
- Inquire as to whether a certain Mr. Cruise and his wealthy Church of the Space-Alien benefactors are willing to pony-up and see if the *fourth* time is a charm.
- Find a more aerodynamic diaper.
- Step 1: Put "Personalized love arrow to be shot at Kate Upton" up on eBay. Step 2: Retire in style.
- Figure out a way to get that Chris Brown arrow out of Rihanna’s butt.
- Avoid additional indecent exposure charges by getting a quality haberdasher.
- Buy stock in Desitin. That stuff is magic.
- Hire an attorney and sue the holy f#$k out of Hallmark and OkCupid.
- Finally get that bastard Ric Ocasek to pay up for that little favor 20 years ago.
- Buy 100-round crossbow magazine NOW, before Obama bans them.
- Hook Lindsay Lohan up with that Allstate mayhem guy. Can you say "match made in heaven"?
- Develop arrow-cluster bomb to make sure Taylor Swift has plenty of future lyric material.
And the Number 1 Thing on Cupid’s To-Do List…
- Finally get a nice girl for that sweet Richard Simmons.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 86 submissions from 32 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 1, 11 (112th #1)
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 2
- Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — 2, 6
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX — 3, 13
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 4, 8
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 4
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 4
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 5, 12
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 6
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 6
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — 7
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA — 8
- Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 9
- Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 10, 16
- Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 14
- John English, Orem, UT — 15
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
T5021513.shtml
