Signs Your Radio DJs Are “Borrowing” Their Material

The list for April 28, 1998
The Top 16 Signs Your Radio DJs
Are "Borrowing" Their Material

  1. "Here are our top 5, er, 10… signs your underwear is on backwards: Number 16, um, 10…"

  2. They constantly complain how misunderstood Milli Vanilli were as artists.

  3. No matter how frequently he’s mentioned, they never seem to be able to explain who the hell Chester is.

  4. Morning guy says, "As I was ruminating and pondering on my drive in this morning…"

  5. They’re always throwing zingers like "Thou pribbling whey-faced coxcomb!" and "Thou churlish pottle-deep strumpet!"

  6. "Check out this wacky little thing we wrote called ‘Who’s on First…’

  7. Well, if you’re screaming "THE GERMAN ZIPPER GOBLIN TOOK MY LIVER!!!", right now, to your radio audience, then we’re talking about you, Pirate-Boy!

  8. When Saturday Night Live is a rerun, they tell a week’s worth of Jimmy Carter jokes.

  9. His childhood anecdotes feature a character called "Fat Herbert."

  10. "Due to unanticipated modem failure, the ‘Two Zany, Wacky Guys’ show will be replaced today the by ‘Bob and Ike’s Agriculture Report.’"

  11. "And now, KSUK brings you the Top 5 Reasons DJs are a Bunch of Unoriginal Morons who Couldn’t Come up with Something Funny to Save… HEY! Wait a minute!!"

  12. "And here with today’s Nutty 5 List, our very own Hurricane Schmurricane!"

  13. All of a sudden, Father Flanagan on "The Breakfast Prayer Show" is a lot funnier than he used to be.

  14. Their top ten list entitled "Things Not To Do on a First Date" sounds suspiciously like the Ten Commandments.

  15. "Hey there! This is Wolfman Mack, and that was our list of the Top 5 Signs Your Radio DJs May be ‘Borrowing’ Their Material."
And the Number 1 Sign Your Radio DJs Are "Borrowing" Their Material…

  1. Ends each joke with "And I wrote that myself, no matter what you might hear from those lying bastards at Top Five."
.
CREDITS
Selected from 104 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 1 (20th #1)
  • Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 2, 4
  • Eric Roth, New York, NY — 2
  • Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 3
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 5
  • Michael Migdol, Austin, TX — 6
  • John Gennity, Woodhaven, NY — 7, 14
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 8, 9
  • Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 10
  • Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 11
  • Jon Litfin, Columbus, OH — 12
  • Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 13, 16, Topic
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 13, Banner Tag
  • Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY — 13
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 15
  • Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — Topic
  • Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
  • Elvis Costello, London, England — Ambience
T5042898

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