The list for March 31, 1998
The Top 16 Signs God Is Appearing on Your TV
- “See Rabbi Schwartz, Father Flanagan, and Master Yogi in a theological grudge match in the Steel Confessional of Death in Biblemania XIV!”
- That “John 3:16” guy at the football game is now holding a sign saying “Channel 5, right now!”
- The Weather Channel broadcasting 24-hour a day “Ark Advisory.”
- Bearded guy in the window outside “The Today Show” keeps sending telepathic messages.
- NBC starts plugging “THOU SHALT SEE TV”
- That older gentleman announcing the new “Fig Leaf Policy” on the Playboy channel ain’t Hef.
- At last, somebody smote those idiotic Mentos commercials!!
- Guest on Entertainment Tonight squashes James Cameron like a bug, raises arms and exclaims, “No, *I’m* the king of the world!”
- MTV’s Vatican Spring Break ’98
- Maximum possible Jeopardy score: $1,283,200. Contestant who looks like George Burns: $1,100,000 and climbing.
- Flurry of white people sighted on UPN and WB networks.
- Jerry Springer only gets out the words “Today our topic is…” before he bursts into flames.
- For sixth straight day, “Kenny G. live from Branson” cancelled due to technical difficulties.
- When Oprah says “My next guest wrote his bestselling book thousands of years ago, and he hasn’t been seen in public since,” she ain’t talking about Salinger!
- Your first two clues? Mohammed as sidekick and Buddha as bandleader.
And the Number 1 Sign God Is Appearing on Your TV…
- Normally standoffish Amish family from down the street drops by with a bundt cake and a bottle of Amaretto.
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CREDITS
Selected from 105 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 1 (19th #1)
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 2, Topic
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 3, 15
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN — 4
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 5
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 5
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 5, 12, 14
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 6
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 7, RU list name
- Alan Wagner, Bayside, WI — 8
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 9
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 10
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 10, 14
- Chris Gleason, Germantown, MD — 11
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 11
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 13
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong — 14
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 16
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — Banner Tag
- Jennifer Markes, West Hollywood, CA — Topic
- Talking Heads, New York, NY — Ambience
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