The list for April 22, 2013
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Reports surfaced out of Boston that someone had
recognized their friend in the pictures of the
bombing suspects circulated by the FBI, but didn’t
bother to call authorities because they didn’t
think their friend would do something so heinous.
recognized their friend in the pictures of the
bombing suspects circulated by the FBI, but didn’t
bother to call authorities because they didn’t
think their friend would do something so heinous.
Maybe not the most prudent of decisions, right?
The Top 15 Reasons to Be
Suspicious of Your Friend
Suspicious of Your Friend
- NEVER posts pictures of his food on Facebook and Twitter.
- Knows all the verses of the Star Spangled Banner — and *sings* them.
- Insists that those randomly placed land mines are the best way to keep rabbits out of his garden.
- His reason for moving? "Crawl space is full."
- Despite his insistence, you know there’s not really a Club Med Yemen.
- Claims to have spent the past 20 years moderating an email-based humor list.
- His new BFF is former NBA player "Comrade Rodman."
- Says he goes to every Cleveland Browns game but has never yet tried to hang himself.
- A little *too* excited buying 14 pressure cookers on Woot.
- Introduces you to her family as his "Yankee capitalist vermin pig roommate."
- New tattoo on his chest says, "Strap Bomb Here."
- You’re pretty sure Axe Body Spray isn’t really available in gunpowder scent.
- Has a Taliban Superheroes lunchbox.
- Uses his first pick in the fantasy football league to take Mark Sanchez.
And the Number 1 Reason to Be Suspicious of Your Friend…
- When you ask him when he’s going to do his share of the chores around the apartment, he just smiles slyly and says, "Ask me tomorrow, infidel."
.
CREDITS
Selected from 97 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 1 (5th #1)
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 2
- Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 3
- Bryan Wendeln, Raleigh, NC — 4
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 5
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 6, 11
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — 7
- Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 8
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 9, Banner Tag
- David E. Spiro, Tucson, AZ — 10
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 12
- Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 13
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 14
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ — 15
- Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA — Banner Tag
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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