Cool Things About a Car that Goes Faster than the Speed of Light

The list for June 17, 1996
The Top 20 Cool Things About a Car That
Goes Faster Than the Speed of Light

  1. Sleep ’til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!

  2. Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.

  3. Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.

  4. Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

  5. Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to carpool.

  6. No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.

  7. Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.

  8. LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.

  9. You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black hole driving home from work.

  10. You’ll be so thin while driving it you can even wear horizontal stripes.

  11. That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.

  12. Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose a limb if he tries to duck through back seat.

  13. Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD’s in Quantum Physics.

  14. Bugs never see you comin’.

  15. You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

  16. Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan "It’s there before you order or it’s free!"

  17. Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to not arouse suspicions of Elizabeth Hurley.

  18. License plate: "Me=mc2"

  19. Cigarette butts don’t land in the backseat — they land in last week!
And the Number 1 Cool Thing About a Car That Goes Faster Than the Speed of Light…

  1. Chicks dig it.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 137 submissions from 53 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 1, 13
  • Sterling Smith, Houston, TX — 1, 20
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 2
  • Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 3
  • Scott Woolley, Cambridge MA — 4, 18 (Rookie!)
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 5, 8
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 5, 19, 20 (Rookie!)
  • David Gunter, Auburn– 5, Topic (Rookie!)
  • David Hyatt, New York, NY — 6, 15
  • Jay Allen, Santa Barbara, CA — 7
  • Meredith Ogden, Ithaca, NY — 9
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 10
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 11
  • Mike Manion, Lexington, KY — 12
  • Joe Desiderio, New York, NY — 14
  • Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 16
  • Dave George, Arlington, VA — 17
  • Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 19
  • Pete Brittingham, Titusville, NJ — 19
  • Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 20
T5061796

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