The list for June 18, 1996
The Top 17 Effects of the Southern
Baptists’ Boycott of Disney
Baptists’ Boycott of Disney
- Children in deep south begin mass conversion to Judaism.
- Disney moves forward with plans to release X-rated version of “Bedknobs and Broomsticks.”
- Record summer crowds for nudie bars on Bourbon Street.
- Parade members can now dance without that awful guilty feeling.
- Plans announced for BaptistLand, “The Happiest Straight Place on Earth.”
- Athletes now heard saying, “I’m going to Disneyland, and then to Hell!”
- Disneyland courts atheists with new slogan: “The closest place to heaven *you’ll* ever see.”
- Finally, Goofy can reveal his true sexual orientation — and gender!
- Disney employees asked to refrain from saying “Our Lord” in public, unless specifically referring to Michael Eisner.
- Reduced pressure to put pants on Donald Duck.
- Neighborhood “working girls” can no longer count on generous tips from visiting televangelists.
- Crowds at DollyWood soar into the dozens.
- Baptists now must visit Disney World in same disguise they wear to the liquor store.
- Hellfire and animation!
- No lines whatsover at “It’s a Small Small Mind.”
- Chip & Dale land on the cover of Out magazine.
And the Number 1 Effect of the Southern Baptists’ Boycott of Disney…
- Absolutely nothing!
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CREDITS
Selected from 97 submissions by 34 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Dave George, Arlington, VA — 1
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 2, Topic (Hall of Famer)
- Caroline Gennity, Queens, NY — 2
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 2
- Alan Wagner, Bayside, WI — 2
- Blair Bostick, whereabouts unknown — 3 (Rookie!)
- Mick McLean, Laramie, WY — 4 (Rookie!)
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 5 (Hall of Famer)
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 6
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 7
- Sterling Smith, Houston, TX — 8
- Pete Brittingham, Titusville, NJ — 8
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 9
- Sharon Silva, Clarksville, TN — 10
- Meredith Ogden, Ithaca, NY — 11
- Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA — 12, 17
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 13
- Ric Belding, Brea, CA — 14
- Jesse Guidry, New Orleans, LA — 15
- Greg Sherwin, Palo Alto, CA — 16
- Gloria Monti, New York, NY — Topic (Rookie!)
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