The list for January 29, 1997
The Top 16 Changes If Your Boss Were a Frog
- Your plan to just step on anyone who stands in the way of your career advancement begins to look more and more plausible.
- He’d be much more likely to pee when you pick him up.
- You’d probably want to rethink your aversion to vivisection.
- No more whining about how long it’s been since you had any tail.
- Daydreaming about the day your boss croaks would no longer have that same charm.
- Sexual harrassment laws not so clear cut with out-of-body egg fertilization.
- She’s noticeably jumpier after morning coffee break.
- “Toadie” suddenly a well-respected position.
- At the very least, you’d get a nice psychedelic buzz after kissing his ass.
- If he laid a pile of work on you Friday at 4:30, you could flush him down the toilet.
- Tastes more like chicken than the old boss.
- You thought cigarette and coffee breath was bad…
- No more dirty language around the water cooler — it’s a nursery now!
- Want a promotion? Tell him your brother is a French Chef — I think he’ll make the connection.
- Having a “frog in your throat” could actually net you that desired promotion.
And the Number 1 Change If Your Boss Were a Frog…
- Fred the Anaconda in Human Resources would be out of a job.
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CREDITS
Selected from 136 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Meredith Ogden, Ithaca, NY — 1 (7th #1)
- Marianne Tatom, Austin, TX — 2
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 2, 10
- Marc Cukier, Toronto, Canada — 3, 8
- Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX — 4, 12
- Don Horton, Sacramento, CA — 4
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 5
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 6
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 6
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 7, 12
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 8, 14
- Tisha Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 8
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 8
- Ward Bahner, Kansas City, MO — 9
- Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI — 11
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 12
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 12
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 12
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 13
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 14
- Joel McClure, Sterling Heights, MI — 15
- R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 16
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