Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines (Part II)

The list for September 3, 1997

The Top 15 Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines
(Part II)

“Hers was a dark and stormy loin.”
“The T. Rex stopped to stare at the female, its tawny pecs rippling in the dappled light.”
“Her eyes were a beautiful bright blue. Her lips full and sensual. And her legs strong and firm, all four of them.”
“Nick Adams held the corset in his hand. It was a good corset. It would rip when he ripped it. Nick liked that.”
“Her habit clung to her body like leather to a bible.”
“Her voice quivered like a plate of Jell-O on a fault line, and her body was soon to follow.”
“Flinging her abusive husband’s genitalia out the car window, Lorena felt a long overdue sense of freedom.”
“Long auburn hair flowing out behind her, dress billowing in the breeze, Cassandra had given in to gravity’s pull and hit the pavement like a bag of fresh phlegm.”
“I couldn’t take my eyes off of his rippling physique, his dark leonine mane, his sensual lips and his skim, no foam, double cappuccino, half-caf, half-decaf eyes.”
“The very sight of him made me forget Paris and long for New Jersey.”
“With great trepidation, Richard Jewell walked the six flights of stairs to the apartment he shared with his mother.”
“Her bosom was heaving uncontrollably; she doubted she’d make it to the toilet on time.”
“I blushed as the captain strode toward me in his manly way, took me in his arms and whispered, ‘Make it so, Number One! Engage!'”
“The man-probe dug in deep while NASA engineers gawked in lecherous pleasure.”

And the Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Opening Line…

“Marv strutted into the Ritz with a twinkle in his eye and a gleam in his incisors.”

CREDITS

Selected from 104 submissions from 41 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5090397