The list for August 25, 1997
The Top 15 Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines
(Part I)
(Part I)
- “He snapped my bra like a Concorde taking off, and I was unhooked for love.”
- “Yes, she was a woman who had once been a man, but she still knew how to flutter her eyelashes as well as those other hussies.”
- “The heaving waves on the vast, ink-black ocean sent a salty spray over the proud bow of the three-masted ship, leaving beads of water on the exposed alabaster skin above the bodice of the tall, raven-haired woman who stood sobbing on
- “Scarlet’s hair was as red as my persistent canker sore.”
- “Nicole let the silk blouse fall from her shoulders, wrapped her left leg around James and deftly cut some cheese.”
- “Robert was new at this prison thing, and he felt frightened and confused. But the moment he laid eyes on #472825994, he became a prisoner of love.”
- “Sam liked to hump.”
- “Though he was flanked by two swarthy state troopers, Paula found her gaze drawn to the chubby saxophonist.”
- “It was a dark and horny night…”
- “Gentle cascades of vermilion poured over Daphne’s heaving, lily-white bosom. ‘Call 911, Scooby,’ she breathed.”
- “His flatulence reared up like a proud stallion.”
- “‘Miss Savannah, is there room for both of us in that hoop skirt?’ Chandler mocked with a slight bow and a sweep of his top hat.”
- “Within minutes of their meeting, Representatives Beth (D-Florida) and Eric (R-Montana) lumbered into the bedroom where soon the unmistakable sounds of wet, naked bodies engaged in sexual congress were heard.”
- “He smelled of pork. Rotting pork, in fact — and lots of it.”
And the Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Opening Line…
- “Omaha Beach, 0800 Hours: Reinforcements from 2nd Panzer Korps arrive, their well-muscled young torsos glistening with man-dew.”
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CREDITS
Selected from 104 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 1, Topic (9th #1)
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 2
- Ken Shinodo, Keizer, OR — 3
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 4
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 5
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 6
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 7
- Barbara Rush, Tulsa, OK — 8
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 9
- Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY — 10
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 10
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 11
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 12
- Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — 13
- Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI — 14
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 15
- David Hoffmann, Fort Worth, TX — Banner Tag
- Fleetwood Mac, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
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