Signs Working From Home Isn’t Going So Well

The list for March 31, 2020
Everyone having fun in that home office?
The Top 15 Signs Working From
Home Isn’t Going So Well

  1. Uber has been very sympathetic, but passengers are complaining about the clothesline and empty takeout boxes.

  2. Nobody but yourself to blame for the filthy microwave now.

  3. Those long, clandestine games of "Angry Birds" just don’t have the same captivation while sitting on your *own* toilet.

  4. Your new IT guy is an 11-year-old, yet still knows way more than you do.

  5. Falling behind on work because of your commitment to providing internet comedy.

  6. Take Your Daughter to Work Day keeps getting in the way of your johns.

  7. You get no thanks despite working 24/7 to rapidly ramp up production of ventilators in Minecraft.

  8. Even Don Draper couldn’t make your "Pabst in a Yeti" day drinking look cool.

  9. Got into an argument at the water cooler with your Roomba.

  10. You finally got the damn pole anchored to the ceiling, but nobody’s sticking singles in your G-string.

  11. Happy hour is now 5 a.m. to 10 p.m.

  12. Online departmental meetings keep getting interrupted by the kids, now that they’ve figured out how to get out of the handcuffs.

  13. Productivity is down, but on the plus side, you’ve finished watching YouTube. All of it.

  14. Fido in Accounting just blew your entire stimulus check on Snausages.
And the Number 1 Sign Working From Home Isn’t Going So Well…

  1. WiFi connection always seems to go down just when you’re closing the left ventricle incision.
Selected from 115 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1 (138th #1)
  • Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada — 2
  • Curtis Stoddard, Cedar Hills, UT — 3
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 4
  • Kim Moser, New York, NY — 5
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 5
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 6
  • Reid Kerr, Sugartit, KY — 7, 11
  • Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 8
  • Larry Baum, Hong Kong — 9
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 10
  • Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 12
  • Tim H. Richweis, Wichita, KS — 12
  • Kevin Freels, Moraga, CA — 13
  • Jim G. Phynn, Horsham, PA — 14
  • Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 15
  • Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — Topic
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List moderator, Banner Tag

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