Worst-Selling Hardware Store Items (Part II)

The list for March 5, 1998
The Top 16 Worst-Selling Hardware Store Items
(Part II)

  1. The Gilbert Gottfried Vibrating Showerhead

  2. The Whoopsie Brothers’ “WidowMaker” Nonlocking Stepladder

  3. Black and Decker Nipple Sanders

  4. Lee Press-On Nails

  5. Approximo Knives

  6. The Black and Decker Power Router with Home Circumcision Attachment

  7. “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Asbestos!”

  8. The Limb-Mangler 6500 Wood Chipper (“Bucket O’ Coagulant” and “Man, That’s Gotta Hurt! Tourniquet” sold separately)

  9. Bob Villa’s “Lovemaking, Sensitive Man Style” Video

  10. Emo Phillips Head Screwdriver

  11. Swiss Army Demitasse Spoon

  12. Nine Inch Tacks

  13. Monkey Wenches

  14. “Crackle” buttcrack spackle – “Keeps the weather out!”

  15. Tommy Lee Foot-Long Tape Measure
And the Number 1 Worst-Selling Hardware Store Item…

  1. The “Make Your Own Fertilizer!” kit
.
CREDITS
Selected from 185 submissions from 66 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 1 (5th #1)
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 2
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 3, 10
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 3
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 3 /
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH — 3
  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 4
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 5, 15, Topic
  • Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 6
  • John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 7
  • Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 8
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 9
  • Michelle Burke, San Francisco, CA — 11 (Rookie!)
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 12
  • Matt Moore, Fresno, CA — 13
  • Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 13
  • Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 14
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA — 15
  • Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY — 16
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — RU list name
  • Robert Sullivan, Salem, OR — Banner Tag
  • Nine Inch Nails, Cleveland, OH — Ambience
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