The list for June 9, 1994
The Top 14 Weird Bribes From Washington Lobbyists
- Briefcase full of authentic Count Chocula cereal.
- Free airfare on an all-smoking flight and free room at an all-smoking hotel compliments of Phillip Morris Tobacco Co.
- A free movie rental and all-expense-paid date with Dana Plato.
- Special LensCrafter membership: “Glasses – in roughly 30 seconds.”
- Mail-order honorary degrees from Oxford for damn near anyone.
- 1000 business cards that conveniently double as Monopoly “Get Out of Jail Free” cards.
- Free “Cement Overcoat” from the “Wiseguy Acapella Boys Choir.”
- Give us your vote, and you’ll be rolling in chicken quesadillas!
- Free low-rider limo conversion with neon running lights.
- Your name entered in Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes TWICE!
- “Get us that grant first — THEN we’ll talk about your Lollapalooza tickets, Senator Thurmond.”
- Citrus Growers Association offers free lemon squeezing, if youknow what I mean.
- Computer generated nude pictures of Tip O’Neil.
And the Number 1 Weird Bribe From Washington Lobbyists…
- Ten cases of Environmentalists Lobby’s black marketChock-Full-O-Dolphin tuna.
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CREDITS
Today’s list authors were:
- LeMel Hebert-Williams, – 1, 5, 7, 11, 14
- David Sklar, Yale (CT) – 2 (Rookie!)
- Chris White, San Diego, CA – 2
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC – 3, 10
- Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL – 4 (Rookie!)
- Greg Sherwin, Palo Alto, CA – 6, 9 (Rookie!)
- Roger Ciotti, I Lost It – 8
- Marshal Perlman, Palm Bay, FL – 9 (Rookie!)
- Ken Woo, San Diego, CA – 12
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN – 13
- Gloria Monti, Yale (CT) – Topic
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