The list for September 12, 1997
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Vacation Report From Italy (#3 in a series)
September 11: Leaving Florence for Milan and Northern Italy. I never found Mira Sorvino at the film festival in Venice,
but got Rosie Perez to pose with me for a photo that will end up on the Top5 website as soon as I get back home.
European Travel Lesson of the day: In Italy, a “non smoking” section is one in which not everyone smokes.
The Top 15 Ways to Cool
Off on a Hot Afternoon
Off on a Hot Afternoon
- Paint on a Speedo and strut over to the office air conditioner in the admiring gazes of the secretarial pool.
- If in L.A., add some bullet holes to your windows for better circulation.
- Ozone, schmozone — Chug a sixer of Freon, Dude.
- Annoy a busload of schoolchildren and wait for the inevitable barrage of moist spit-balls.
- Make out with the Good Humor man in the back of his truck.
- Lose a fortune on Wall Street, then savor the breeze as you descend from the nearest high-rise.
- Win some sort of championship, receive Gatorade shower.
- Sit out on the veranda and sip a nice Mint Liquid Nitrogen Julep.
- Stand by the exit to the latest Pauly Shore movie 10 minutes after it starts and wait for the rush of wind caused by exiting moviegoers.
- Beg your dominatrix *not* to use the ice cube on your nipples.
- Gather the rest of the fraternity for a few nostalgic rounds of the “pick up the grape from the block of ice with your buttcheeks” game.
- “Accidentally” walk in on a naked Janet Reno. Brrrrr.
- Frozen tofu burritos! Git your frozen tofu burritos here!
- Buy Depends. Soak. Freeze. Wear.
And the Number 1 Way to Cool Off on a Hot Afternoon…
- Strike up a chat with Whitney Houston.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 80 submissions from 34 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Joel McClure, Royal Oak, MI — 1 (3rd #1)
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 2
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 2, 11
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 3
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 3
- Chris Gleason, Germantown, MD — 4
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 5
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 6
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — 7
- Troy Roberson, Birmingham, AL — 8
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 9
- Peg Warner, Derry, NH — 10, 15
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 12
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 13
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 13
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 14
- David Hoffmann, Fort Worth, TX — Banner Tag
- Sly Stewart, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
T5091297