The list for March 20, 1998
The Top 16 Ways to Celebrate
Your 100th Assisted Suicide
(Part II)
Your 100th Assisted Suicide
(Part II)
- Approach Nike about your “I Can… Kill Hundreds of People” ad idea.
- Sharpen up the sickle and dry clean the robe ‘cuz he’s steppin’ out tonight!
- Road trip to Florida!
- Call up Rolling Stones and tell Keith you’d be happy to “finish the job” for him.
- “99 Bottles of Sodium Pentathol on the wall, 99 Bottles of Sodium Pentathol…”
- Throw on some Grateful Dead and watch “Weekend At Bernie’s.”
- Finally buy yourself that pair of jeans with the Hippocratic Oath on the ass.
- That “The Worm Goes In, The Worm Goes Out” song never gets old.
- Hold a raffle. First prize? A recently vacated house!
- Go to Wall Street. Start rumor that Alan Greenspan has a nasty cough. Bring popcorn!
- Let the neighborhood kids take a few blindfolded whacks at a cadaver piñata.
- Taking credit for number 101 by pointing to Al Gore.
- Slap another skull-and-crossbones decal onto the side of the Deathmobile and go cruisin’!
- Kill a few brain cells at the local bar by putting a bottle of Scotch out of its misery.
- Party at Sinatra’s house!
And the Number 1 Way to Celebrate Your 100th Assisted Suicide…
- Free “My uncle was the 100th Kevorkian suicide and all I got was this crummy T-shirt” shirts for all the relatives.
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CREDITS
Selected from 148 submissions from 57 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Steve Maybo, Carlsbad, CA — 1 (5th #1)
- Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 2
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 3
- R.M. Weiner, Somerville, MA — 3
- William Gray, San Jose, CA — 4
- Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 4
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 4
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA — 4
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 5, 11
- Natasha Filipovic, New York, NY — 6
- Jennifer Markes, West Hollywood, CA — 6
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 7
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 8
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 9
- Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY — 10
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 11, RU list name
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 12
- David Berlind, New York, NY — 12
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 13
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 14 /
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 15
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 16
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH — Topic
- Robert Sullivan, Salem, OR — Banner Tag
- Dead Can Dance, Melbourne, Australia — Ambience
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