The list for February 18, 1997
The Top 15 Ways O.J. Can Raise $33.5 Million
- Host a Celebrity Stab-A-Thon.
- Negotiate with the National Enquirer to admit to the Olympic bombing and the assasination of JFK.
- Hit Kato up for back rent.
- Tour guide for Hell, Michigan.
- “I Fought the Law: An Evening in Vegas with O.J. Simpson and Richard Jewell.”
- Host a TV program about mysterious disappearances of spouses, called the “EX-FILES.”
- Contact the Democratic National Committee fund raisers.
- Get enormous breast implants; marry an old blind billionaire.
- Develop super-duper coffee mug – sell a dozen to the Pentagon for $2,791,666.67 million each.
- Arrangement with Satan to receive a penny every time someone thinks he should burn in Hell.
- “Borrow back” from criminal trial jury.
- Write a “Homicide for Dummies” book.
- Open a “Kick Me for $5” booth. Wait.
- “I’ll take ‘Golf Courses of Southern California’ for 33.5 Million, Alex.”
And the Number 1 Way O.J. Can Raise $33.5 Million…
- Invest $67 million in Apple Computer.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 106 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX — 1, 12 (2nd #1)
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 2
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 3
- Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT — 4
- John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 5
- Kris Johnson, Burbank, CA — 6
- Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — 7
- Tisha Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 8
- Gene/Cynthia Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT — 9
- Anna Chin-Williams, Oakland, CA — 10
- Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA — 11
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 13
- Greg Pettit, Houston, TX — 14
- Paul Lara, Temple, TX — 15
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Topic
T5021897