The list for July 30, 1998
The Top 12 Ways Life Would be Different
If There Were No Vowels
If There Were No Vowels
- Wht th fck knd f tpc s ths?
- Nothing before nothing except after c? Sure, Teach. Whatever.
- Cartoon strip characters limited to sleeping and swearing.
- Sudden inability to pick out the Czech hockey players in the NHL.
- Alex Trebek: still wealthy and famous. Pat and Vanna: living in a van down by the river and fighting tooth and Press-on Nail over dwindling supply of food.
- As the price of Sesame Street stock plummets, Bert and Ernie are laid off.
- Y, during interrogation, denies any ever working for the deposed junta.
- 19% less time on the crapper.
- The Thomas Brothers’ Map regional offices in Honolulu do some serious downsizing.
- Now, *51* ways to leave your lover! Latest addition: “Sorry babe, but U and I are history.”
- Old MacDonald awakens to an eerie silence.
And the Number 1 Way Life Would be Different If There Were No Vowels…
- President Clinton breathes a sigh of relief, since he never said he didn’t have sex with Mnc Lwnsk.
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CREDITS
Selected from 119 submissions from 44 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Blair Bostick, Alexandria, VA — 1, 7 (2nd #1)
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 2
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 3, Runner Up List Name
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 4
- Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 5
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 6, 8
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA– 7, Banner Tag
- Whit Andrews, Omaha, NE– 8, 11 (Rookie!)
- Craig Stacey, Lisle, IL– 9
- Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX — 10
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 11
- Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI — 12
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 12
- Marshal Perlman, Minneapolis, MN — Topic
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
- Bob Dylan, Greenich Village — Ambience
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