The list for July 5, 1996
The Top 15 Ways Bob Dole Spent His 4th of July
- Helped Newt put cherry bombs in the Whitehouse mailbox.
- Dusted off his fife and played a song or two.
- Emulating Yankee Doodle, tried to “keep it up.”
- Went pen shopping.
- Courted Gen-X vote by wearing red, white and blue Speedos on MTV’s Beach House.
- Unbuttoned his top button. Damn near took off his tie.
- Celebrated right to bear arms by firing off a round or two into the air.
- Got ‘faced and replaced the pen with a sparkler.
- Bob Dole? Bob Dole did what Bob Dole always said Bob Dole does.
- Saw some heavy-duty mosh action during Metallica set at Lalapalooza.
- Replaced the spark plugs on the Model T.
- Played Connect-The-Liver-Spots with Strom Thurmond.
- Recalled childhood days when he used to shoot bottle rockets at that weenie Ben Franklin.
- Grilled up the last of the leftover Stegosaurus.
And the Number 1 Way Bob Dole Spent His 4th of July…
- Got a jumpstart on that concession speech.
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CREDITS
Selected from 82 submissions by 29 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA — 1 (3rd #1)
- Meredith Ogden, Ithaca, NY — 2
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 3, 11
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 4
- Tony Hill, Minneapolis, MN — 5
- Joel McClure, Sterling Heights, MI — 6, 12
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 7
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 8
- Rebecca Smith, Dallas, TX — 9
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 10
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 13
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 14
- Mike Lander, Las Vegas, NV — 15 (Rookie!)
- Chris White, NY, NY — Topic, Listmeister
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