Valentine’s Cards From Famous People

The list for February 14, 2013
The Top 20 Valentine’s
Cards From Famous People

  1. Bill Murray: Bill you Murray me?

  2. Sacha Baron Cohen: I have Sacha crush on you.

  3. Nadya Suleman: You octo be my baby!

  4. Ted Nugent: Shoot, Valentine, I’ve been hunting for you!

  5. Rihanna: Without you, I’m just blue. But WITH you, I’m blue and purple and bleeding, my love!

  6. Alec Baldwin: Alec you *so* much.

  7. Harrison Ford: Take my Han so neither of us is Solo on Valentine’s Day.

  8. O.J. Simpson: Give me one more stab at love.

  9. John Boehner: I’d cry tears of joy if you’ll be my Valentine; …or tears of sadness otherwise. Either way, there’s definitely going to be tears involved.

  10. Samuel L. Jackson: Happy Motherf$#kin’ Valentine’s Day, Motherf$#ker.

  11. Charlie Sheen: It’s not a winning Valentine’s Day unless I’ve Sheen you naked.

  12. Lindsay Lohan: Valentine, you make me crazy. Well, crazier.

  13. Chris Brown: Let me beat you — to the punch, with a Valentine!

  14. Pope Benedict XVI: Will you be mine? Pope springs eternal!

  15. Lance Armstrong: Valentine, you enhance me.

  16. Kim Kardashian: I wanna ass you to be my Valentine.

  17. Tom Cruise: Hey, good-looking, want to take a Cruise? (Valid only after the prospective love interest has passed the authorized pre-screening process and signed the requisite forms in the presence of Mr. Cruise and no less than three attorneys.)

  18. Dick Cheney: Being without you is sheer torture.

  19. Jamie Foxx: Girl, I’m not a guy who "makes love" — I’m one who Foxx.
And the Number 1 Valentine’s Card From a Famous Person…

  1. Justin Bieber: Roses are red, violets are blue; I love you, baby, but I got no pubes.
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CREDITS
Selected from 75 submissions from 27 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Richard Skora, Columbus, OH — 1, 11 (32nd #1)
  • Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 2
  • Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 3
  • Paul Wiley, Westtown, NY — 4
  • Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 5, 14
  • Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 6
  • Caryn Kennealy, Glendale, CA — 7
  • Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 8
  • Danny Gallagher, McKinney, TX — 9, 13
  • Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 10, 16
  • Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 12
  • Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 15
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ — 17, 19
  • Steve Huntington, San Jose, CA — 18
  • Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 20
  • Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
  • Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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