The list for June 19, 1997
The Top 15 Traits of a Highly
Ineffective Sales Person
Ineffective Sales Person
- His close? “You might find a better price elsewhere — but don’t let me catch you doing it, pal!”
- Refers to your wife as “Your passenger-side airbag, there.”
- Bursts into tears when someone shakes his hand firmly.
- Starts every demo with, “In spite of what you may have read in Consumer Reports….”
- Wears a clown costume to all sales calls, because everyone loves a clown.
- Promotes her new album by tearing up a picture of the pope.
- That catchy, “Sure, our product sucks, but at least it’s expensive as hell.”
- Not only takes “no” for an answer, he insists on it.
- Her big sales special: a complimentary receipt with every purchase.
- Upon first sign of rejection, offers 15 for the price one.
- “Loves Oreos” and “talks with food in mouth” aren’t particularly compatible characteristics.
- His nickname around the office: “The Capitulator.”
- In the first pitch meeting, she calls you “Pinky” and your boss “Tubby.”
- Surly De Niroesque responses of “Are you talkin’ to me?” unnerve customers.
- Doesn’t care if you don’t buy anything as long as you laugh at his Ghandi impersonation.
And the Number 1 Trait of a Highly Ineffective Sales Person…
- Claims everything he sells can “double as an ass scratcher.”
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CREDITS
Selected from 112 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 1 (9th #1)
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 2
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 3, 9, Topic
- Rob Seulowitz, New York, NY — 4
- Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — 5
- Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL — 6
- Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT — 7
- Dave George, Arlington, VA — 8
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 10
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 11
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 12
- Norman Kenney, Carlsbad, CA — 13
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 14
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 15
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 16
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA — List owner/editor
T5061997
