Topics Windows Sources Prevented Us from Using Over the Last Two Years

The list for June 12, 1998

“We’ll always have Paris.”

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

Today’s list marked the passing of an era in TopFive history.

Our contract with Windows Sources magazine as
our corporate sponsor had expired and we are
going our separate ways after this final list.

The Top 16 Topics Windows Sources Prevented
Us from Using Over the Last Two Years

16. Things Bodily Orifices Not Located Directly Under the Nose Would Say If They Could Talk
    

15. Signs You’ve Got the Wrong Operating System
    

14. Words That Rhyme With "Duck"
    

13. Unethical Practices of Ziff-Davis Executives (parts I, II, III, IV and V)
    

12. Rejected Proctology Jokes from "Who’s The Boss" Scripts
    

11. Reasons Computer Magazines Make Great Fronts for Money Laundering
    

10. Windows Sources Advertisers Whose Products Suck
    

9. Sexual Fantasies of Bill Gates
   

8. Ways to Sue the Living Crap out of Windows Sources and Win
   

7. Incriminating Things We Know About That Coward, John Gotti
   

6. Rap Weenies Who Couldn’t Find Us If They Tried
   

5. Uses For A Baby Seal Carcass
   

4. Reasons Why Windows Sources was Foolish Enough to Pay Chris White for Two Years for Joke Lists He Didn’t Even Write
   

3. Tricks Played on Mr. Ziff By Mr. Davis
   

2. Cool Ways to Make Little Kids Cry

And the Number 1 Topic Windows Sources Prevented Us from Using Over the Last T

1. Signs You’re a Pathetic Geek Who Spends Too Much Money on Computer Magazines

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CREDITS

Selected from 93 submissions from 31 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

• David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 1, Topic (8th #1)
• R.M. Weiner, Somerville, MA — 1 (7th #1)
• Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 2, 10
• Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC — 3
• Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY — 4, 13
• Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 5
• Kris Johnson, Burbank, CA — 6
• Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 7
• Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 8
• Ward Bahner, Kansas City, MO — 9, 15
• David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 11
• Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 12
• Rob Winchell, Arlington, MA — 14
• John Treusch, Burlington, NJ — 16
• Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — RU List Name
• Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
• The Doors, Venice Beach, CA — Ambience

T5061298