The list for November 13, 1997
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
We here at Top5 are constantly walking a tightrope, on one hand trying to be funny *and* creative, and on the other hand trying not to be on the receiving end of any lawsuits and to keep our corporate sponsors, Windows Sources & Ziff-Davis, happy.
Consequently, there are certain topics we avoid like the plague. Today and tomorrow, in a 2-part list, we’d like to share some of those off-limits topics with you, our beloved readers.
Consequently, there are certain topics we avoid like the plague. Today and tomorrow, in a 2-part list, we’d like to share some of those off-limits topics with you, our beloved readers.
The Top 15 Topics That Would Get
The Top 5 List in Hot Water
(Part I)
The Top 5 List in Hot Water
(Part I)
- Reasons Our Readers Suck
- Biblical Euphemisms for Masturbation
- Reasons the Middle East Still Doesn’t Realize after 5,000 Years that Fighting Won’t Solve Anything
- Chapters Left Out of “The Satanic Verses”
- Ways to Mispronounce “Ziff-Davis”
- Signs You’re a Hairy-Legged Feminist
- Signs Your Creeping Homophobia is an Indication of Your Subconscious Attraction to Rush Limbaugh
- Ways to Use the Word “Newt” to Describe Genitalia
- Things Pauly Shore Shouted as He Dressed Up as a Scout in a Dress and Gunned Down a Roomful of Amway Reps and Promise Keepers
- Signs Chris White’s NAMBLA Membership is Up for Renewal
- Ways to Tell if Your Pet is Gay
- Uncredited Top 5 Lists Used by Playboy Magazine, Like the One on Page 21 of Their December Issue
- Uses for a Throw Rug Made From Siamese Cat Fur
- Martha Stewart Dildo Decorating Tips
And the Number 1 Topic That Would Get The Top 5 List in Hot Water…
- Signs that the Top 5 List is a Front for Laundering Drug Money Though Offshore Banks, a Fact that is Totally Lost on Those Losers At the IRS
.
CREDITS
Selected from 210 submissions from 53 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 1 (6th #1)
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 2
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 3, 14
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 3, 6
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 4
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 5, 6
- Joshua Wachs, Cambridge, MA — 6
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 7, 9
- Rob Wells, Paris, France — 8
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 10
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 11
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 12
- Perry Friedman, Menlo Park, CA — 12
- Christopher Troise, New York, NY — 13
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 15
- LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — Banner Tag
- Troy Roberson, Birmingham, AL — Topic
- Corduroy 9, Laurel, MD — Ambience
T5111397
