The list for January 28, 1997
The Top 12 Things You Don’t Want
to Hear From Tech Support
to Hear From Tech Support
- “Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?”
- “…that’s right, not even MacGyver could fix it.”
- “So — what are you wearing?”
- “Duuuuuude! Bummer!”
- “Looks like you’re gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap’n.”
- “Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you’re with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.”
- “We can fix this, but you’re gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.”
- “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
- “In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.”
- “Hold on a second… Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!”
- “Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics.”
And the Number 1 Thing You Don’t Want to Hear From Tech Support…
- “Please hold for Mr. Gates’ attorney.”
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CREDITS
Selected from 83 submissions from 31 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 1 (9th #1)
- R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 2
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 3, 10
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 4, 8
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 5
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 6, 10
- Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 7
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 9
- Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 10
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 11
- Bob Mader, Knoxville TN — 12
- Chris White, New York, NY — Listmeister
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