Things Overheard in the Beverly Hills City Jail

The list for December 18, 1997
The Top 15 Things Overheard in
the Beverly Hills City Jail

  1. “Ah yes, Mr. Downey, sir. And how many nights will you be staying with us? Will a room on the west wing suit you?”

  2. “Hey, man, check it out — ain’t that Beavis and Butt-head?”

  3. “I don’t care how many packs of cigarettes you have, Bruno, my first love will always be the theatre.”

  4. “The warden’s wife was wondering if you gentlemen could join her for tea and petit-fours at two-ish?”

  5. “Where’s my body double, dammit?!?”

  6. “Jeeves, could you please retrieve that bar of soap for me?”

  7. “Okay, this time I’ll be William Hurt and you be Raul Julia.”

  8. “Either you start talking or the poodle gets it.”

  9. “Helloooooo, Nancy boys!”

  10. “Yo, ActorBoy — do Nicholson again!”

  11. “Lemme show ya *my* Oscar — and it ain’t gold plated!”

  12. “Sorry, I’m just not really *believing* that you want me to be your bitch… can we try the dialogue again?”

  13. “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve–hey! This chardonnay is supposed to be chilled!”

  14. “Guard! Downey’s passed out in the wrong cell again!”
And the Number 1 Thing Overheard in the Beverly Hills City Jail…

  1. “Okay, here’s the plan: You bite him and I’ll grab the heroin.”
.
CREDITS
Selected from 100 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 1 (9th #1)
  • Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA — 2
  • George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 3, 13
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 4
  • Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 5
  • Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 6, 12
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — 6
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 6
  • Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 7
  • Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 8
  • Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 9
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 9
  • Barry T. Smith, Boulder Creek, CA — 10, 15
  • Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 11
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 14, Topic
  • Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — Banner Tag
  • R.M. Weiner, Somerville, MA — Topic
  • Thin Lizzy, London, England — Ambience
T5121897

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