Things Overheard Between the Unabomber and the Psychiatrist

The list for January 19, 1998

The Top 15 Things Overheard Between
the Unabomber and the Psychiatrist

“No, you may not borrow my underwear, Mr. Kaczynski.”
“In my professional opinion, if I were a 50-year-old virgin, I’d go freakin’ nuts, too!”
“I give up, Ted — what’s black & red and charred all over?”
“Boy” “BOMB!” “Girl” “BOMB!” “Airport” “BOMB!” “Okay, that’s enough word association.”
“Look, Ted — I’m no lawyer, but I’ve got doubts about your ‘Prairie Oyster’ defense.”
“That ink blot looks like the oppressive technocratic regime attempting to enslave our free minds… or maybe a bunny rabbit.”
“Would you *please* stop making that ticking noise?!”
“Actually, Ted, I’d prefer you *fax* me your manifesto.”
“Why don’t you and I run away together? I know a great little unheated cottage in the middle of nowhere!”
“You read the entire manifesto? Geez, and they think *I’m* crazy!”
“Now tell me again, Ted — which one is Itchy?”
“I *must* be insane — to sell name-brand VCR’s and televisions at such low prices!!! This Friday only, at Krazy Ted’s Electronics Outlet!!!”
“Man, that OJ is a nut, isn’t he?”
“Okay, Marvin Gardens with three houses, that’s $875….”

And the Number 1 Thing Overheard Between the Unabomber and the Psychiatrist…

“Violent fantasies?! Hey, you’re the one showing me all these inkblot pictures of explosions.”

CREDITS

Selected from 98 submissions from 36 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

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