The list for May 6, 2013
The Top 13 Things Overheard at the Prom
- "Notice how everybody is dancing a few inches apart since I spiked the punch with Viagra?"
- "Word has it you can get lucky with Jennifer just by slow-dancing."
- "Sorry, my momma told me to hold out for a ‘money’ corsage."
- "Wait a minute, when did we integrate with the ‘Straight Prom’?"
- "Dude, in the time it took for one slow dance and a clumsily awkward breast cupping, her profile went from ‘single,’ to ‘in a relationship,’ to ‘it’s complicated.’"
- "May I sext you goodnight?"
- "It was so sweet. He gave me his only condom to use as a vase for my corsage."
- "I’m not that kind of girl. I’m saving myself for the after-party."
- "I don’t know which was worse — that he sneezed while we were slow dancing, or that I instinctively handed him a Kleenex from the front of my dress!"
- "Here are your tickets for free soft drinks and here’s your Plan B contraceptive. Have a great time!"
- "I never thought you’d accept my Facebook invitation, Mr. President; are you sure Hillary doesn’t mind?"
- "Have you ever heard of Virginity Keepers? No? Good! Wanna dance?"
And the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Prom…
- "Amanda has already been to the dumpster three times tonight. Either she’s had triplets or she’s a cannibal."
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CREDITS
Selected from 81 submissions from 30 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jeremy Shelley, Possum Trot, KY — 1 (16th #1)
- Shaune R. Stark, Cedar Park, TX — 2, 11
- Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 3
- David Kass, Queens, NY — 4, 10
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA — 5, 9
- Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 6
- Daina Schatz, New York, NY — 7
- Jay Shuck, Minneapolis, MN — 8
- Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 12
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 13
- Douglas Frank, Crosby, TX — Banner Tag
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
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