Things Overheard at the Baseball All-Star Game

The list for July 10, 1997

The Top 15 Things Overheard at
the Baseball All-Star Game

“Says who he can’t hit? I’ve seen him hit the 3rd base ump in the eye with a lugie from the dugout!”
“Glad I got here early. I got to see Marge Schott throw out the first slur.”
“Sorry, kid — this section is reserved for parole officers.”
Announcer: “He’s rounding third… Holy cow, I think he’s gonna make it…” Third Base Coach: “Stop right there! Before you go any further, do you love me?”
“That Roberto Alomar is the spittin’ image of his brother, Sandy!”
“Albert Belle’s not playing? Now where am I gonna throw all these beers?!!”
“Then she says to me, ‘I can’t wait to see the Big Unit in action.’ What would *you* have done, officer?”
“Ripken called. Said his throat feels scratchy so he’s staying home today.”
“Yeah, do these hot dogs seem a little light on the pig snouts and rodent hairs, and a little heavy on the cow lips?”
“He’s got two balls on ‘im.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, Mrs. Schott, but they’re doing the ‘Tomahawk chop,’ not saluting Hitler.”
“Hey, Gwynn — Leave some Big Macs for the President!”
“Well it’s an unusual defensive move, but there *is* no rule which specifically prohibits defecating on third base.”
“Alright, you got yourself a bet, Mr. Rose!!”

And the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Baseball All-Star Game…

“Yes, Mr. Costas, in Cleveland, dating Leann Rimes *would* be considered a felony.”

CREDITS

Selected from 79 submissions from 28 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5071097