Things Overheard at the Academy Awards

The list for March 25, 1997

The Top 16 Things Overheard
at the Academy Awards

“…and Frances McDormand is wearing a lovely Armani parka…”
“Don’t mind her — Anna Nicole cries like that every year after they give the tribute to the rich, old actors who’ve died.”
“Mr. Flynt, for the last time: No, I won’t show them to you, and yes, they’re real!”
“Oh, c’mon — I know Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon are activists, but mad cow disease??”
“Must’ve taken a winch and a gallon of Vaseline to get her into that dress…”
“Hugh Grant was scheduled to present this award, but he must have been detained while on his way here.”
“And now, the nominees for Best Performance of a Somehow-Disabled-Character…”
“Oh, man — do you realize we have to suck up to Howard Stern this year??”
“I’m sorry Mr. Crystal, but the fire marshal says no more than 150 writers backstage composing your spontaneous witticisms.”
“Frankly, I thought the reading of the rules by that guy from Price Waterhouse was more exciting than ‘The English Patient.'”
“Presenting the Oscar for Best Hair and Best Costumes, the NBA’s leading rebounder…”
“Hey! Madonna’s breast feeding!!… Made ya look!”
“You headin’ to the post-Oscar party in the Lincoln Bedroom tonight?”
“Ah don’t reckon ah’ll have reason to be killin’ nobody else — ‘cept, of course, that Pauly Shore feller. Hmh-mmm.”
“No, Roger, you *can’t* have my Raisinettes!”

And the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Academy Awards…

CREDITS

Selected from 109 submissions from 39 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5032597