The list for August 22, 1996
The Top 15 Things Overheard at NFL Training Camps

  1. “How the HELL do they expect me to support my wife AND my girlfriend on just $5 million a year?!”

  2. “Be honest. Don’t these pants make my butt look HUGE?”

  3. “Does this look infected to you?”

  4. “Has anyone here ever SEEN a football?” (Giants and Jets camps only)

  5. “Hey, I said XXXXL! Do I *LOOK* like I wear a XXXXXL?!?”

  6. “Look, kid… no $100, no autograph. Now get lost, ya little twerp!”

  7. “Listen, rookie, there’s a big difference between a sportsman-like pat on the ass and copping a feel!”

  8. “Idiot! Wilhelm Tiselius was Europe’s foremost biochemist! What the hell’d YOU do in college?”

  9. “Has anyone seen my spleen?”

  10. “That’s chump change! *My* contract caused a $5.00 jump in ticket prices.”

  11. “Fellas, be reasonable. Everybody can’t room with Irvin.”

  12. “Quick! Pull my finger!”

  13. “No, no, no. It’s RIGHT hand out palm down, THEN left hand out palm down…”

  14. “Hey Rookie, go run an Irvin and meet us back at the hotel.”
And the Number 1 Thing Overheard at NFL Training Camps…

  1. “Dammit! I just finished paying for that knee!”
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CREDITS
Selected from 130 submissions by 38 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Joel Auslander, Seattle, WA — 1
  • Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 2
  • Marc Cukier, Toronto, Canada — 3
  • Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA — 3
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 3
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 3
  • Lisa Stepaniak, Dearborn, MI — 4
  • George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 5, 14
  • Joel McClure, Sterling Heights, MI — 6
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 7
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 8
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 9
  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX — 9
  • Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 10
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 11, 14
  • Gayle Ehrenman, New York, NY — 12
  • Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA — 13
  • Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 15
  • Jennifer O. Gall, Los Angeles, CA — 15
  • Jesse Guidry, New Orleans, LA — Topic
  • Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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