The list for September 24, 1996
The Top 15 Things Overheard at
John Kennedy, Jr.’s Wedding

  1. “Of course, there is a ‘second bouquet’ theory.”

  2. “$50,000 and my summer house on the Vineyard says they don’t last ’til the holidays.”

  3. “Okay, Arnold — everybody’s seen your little trick. Now, drop the walnuts and pull up your pants.”

  4. “The next item up for sale is the bride. Do I hear $5000?”

  5. “Daddy, is it my turn to hit the paparazzo yet?”

  6. “What’s *she* got that *I* don’t have?”

  7. “Somebody PLEASE tell Cousin Arnold to stop bench-pressing the bride.”

  8. “But, Senator, I JUST got married!”

  9. “You are?! What a coincidence! *I’m* a Kennedy, too!”

  10. “That’s right! Ohh, baby! Kneel at the altar! Kneel at the altar!!”
    “Ted, will you please shut up!”

  11. “Ask not what your wedding gifts can do for you — ask what you can get for them at auction.”

  12. “Will the owner of the HummVee, license plate EYELBBAK, please turn off your floodlights.”

  13. Heard repeatedly: “Thanks, Uncle Ted, but I’ve already got a ride home.”

  14. “John John, Boutros Boutros.
    Boutros Boutros, John John.”
And the Number 1 Thing Overheard at John Kennedy, Jr.’s Wedding…

  1. “Thank God he didn’t have to study to pass the blood test.”
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CREDITS
Selected from 99 submissions by 26 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 1 (3rd #1)
  • Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA — 2
  • George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 3, 15
  • Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL — 3, 13
  • Matt Alford, Salem, OR — 3
  • Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 3
  • Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 3
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 3
  • Patrick New, Chicago, IL — 3
  • John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 3
  • LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA — 4
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 5
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 6
  • Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 7 (Rookie!)
  • Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — 8
  • Kate d’Oliveira, Ft. Lauderdale, FL — 9 (Rookie!)
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 10
  • Stephen Pace, Houston, TX — 11
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 12
  • Jennifer Ritzinger, Seattle, WA — 14, Topic
  • Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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