The list for August 5, 1996
The Top 15 Things Least Likely
to Be on Jesse Helms’ Web Site

  1. “Jesse’s Gay Chat Room – Y’all Come On Out!”

  2. “The RuPaul Fashion Page”

  3. “Click here for Jesse’s Fantasy Date with Jenny McCarthy”

  4. Fan letter from Susan Sarandon

  5. Any recipes that use the word “Shittake”

  6. A link to the Lesbian Non-Smokers Against Firearms web page

  7. Calendar of upcoming cross burnings

  8. Photo of Jesse attempting to organize a mosh pit during last Neil Diamond concert

  9. “Your Civil Rights as a Non-Christian, Non-White, Non-Male, Non-Citizen”

  10. “Jesse’s Favorite Soul Food Recipes”

  11. Two words: Prostate Cam

  12. “Louis Farrakhan’s Online Bow Tie Shop”

  13. “The Best Drugs for Doin’ the Nasty”

  14. A counter that says anything but, “You are visitor number 00000.”
And the Number 1 Thing Least Likely to Be on Jesse Helms’ Web Site…

  1. “This page funded in part by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.”
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CREDITS
Selected from 125 submissions by 35 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Norman Kenney, Carlsbad, CA — 1 (3rd #1)
  • Peg Warner, Bangor, ME — 2
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 3, 8
  • Greg Pettit, Houston, TX — 4
  • Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA — 5
  • John Hering, Alexandria, VA — 6
  • Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR — 6
  • Rebecca Smith, Dallas, TX — 7
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 8
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 9, Topic
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 10
  • Matt Diamond, Holland, PA — 11
  • Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 12
  • Chris McKenna, Malibu, CA — 13
  • Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 14
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 15
  • Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
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