The list for April 2, 1997
The Top 15 Surprises on
the Vatican’s New Website
the Vatican’s New Website
- Pictures of the Pontiff’s recent nipple piercing.
- J.P.’s turn-ons: Pointy Hats. Turn-offs: Terrorists with guns.
- After saying 3 “Hail Mary’s” and 2 “Our Father’s,” your download time is *much* faster.
- Third “Secret of Fatima” revealed to be no more than warning for larger women to avoid horizontal stripes.
- Lyrics to “Yo, The Pope is Dope!” rap duet with Ice-T.
- “Thou shalt not use blinking text” is officially the 11th commandment.
- Blowup of “The Last Supper” reveals small containers of applesauce and pudding.
- Downloadable sound clips from Sunday’s Easter mass, as well as from “Happy Gilmore” and “Tommy Boy.”
- Secret Vatican City recipe for Long Island Iced Tea!
- Hidden BathroomCam debunks that rumor about what the Pope does “in the woods.”
- Constant updates of Cardinals & Padres scores.
- The Numero Uno link on the “Top 10 E-Tickets To Hell” list? www.topfive.com!
- Chocolate rosary beads for sale: “They’re Catholicious!”
- While the Pope himself may be infallible, the web site crashes more than Kelsey Grammer on his way home from a bachelor party.
And the Number 1 Surprise on the Vatican’s New Website…
- Online “Confess-O-Rama” nothing more than a chat room run by some guy named Chester.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 102 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC — 1 (7th #1)
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 2
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 2
- Cathie Walker, Victoria, BC, Cananda — 3 >
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 4
- Sue Prifogle, Rushville, IN — 5
- Kris Johnson, Burbank, CA — 6
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 6
- Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 7
- Tisha Stacey, St. Paul, MN — 8
- Vickie Neilson, Carlsbad, CA — 9
- Duncan Carling, San Francisco, CA — 10
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 11
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 12
- Chris Gleason, Germantown, MD — 13
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 14
- Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 15
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — Topic
T5040297
