Surprises in the New “Captain Kangaroo” Show

The list for June 9, 1997
The Top 16 Surprises in the
New “Captain Kangaroo” Show

  1. Photo of Mr. Rogers on the dart board.

  2. After his trip to Sweden, Mr. Greenjeans is now Ms. Jean Greene.

  3. Demoted to Corporal Kangaroo after sexual harassment accusations.

  4. Captain loses dorky haircut, now sports dorky dreadlocks.

  5. New character, “Mr. CandyinmyJeans.”

  6. Strung-out Bunny Rabbit finally loses it and Uzi’s the entire Treasure House.

  7. Moustache and red jacket replaced by goatee and flannel shirt.

  8. Season opener: Lambchop picks a nursing home.

  9. Mr. Moose’s ping pong balls replaced with bowling balls and the Captain is relentlessly pounded through the floorboards.

  10. The only thing the Captain has in his pouch is a chubby.

  11. Hunting season moved up four months after Dancing Bear displays his macarena skills.

  12. Pamela Anderson Lee debuts as the “Roo Time Gal.”

  13. Grandfather Clock announces engagement to Anna Nicole Smith.

  14. Out: Mr. Greenjeans. In: Master Black Leather Chaps.

  15. Show’s new motto: “50% less creepy than Mr. Rogers’s Neighborhood!”
And the Number 1 Surprise in the New “Captain Kangaroo” Show…

  1. Bunny Rabbit accidentally becomes an entree during a guest appearance by Wolfgang Puck.
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CREDITS
Selected from 139 submissions from 50 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 1 (1st #1!)
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 2
  • Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 3, 10
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 3
  • Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA — 4, 11
  • Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA — 5, 8
  • Barbara Rush, Tulsa, OK — 6, 14
  • Lisa Stepaniak, Dearborn, MI — 6
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 7
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 8
  • R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 8
  • Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI — 9
  • Debbie Lander, Las Vegas, NV — 11
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 11
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 12
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 13
  • Larry Baum, Hong Kong — 14
  • Hank Weilevy, Fairless Hills, PA — 14
  • Peg Warner, Derry, NH — 15
  • Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 16
  • Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — Topic
  • Tisha Stacey, Lisle, IL — Runner Up list name
T5060997

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