The list for August 6, 1998
The Top 14 Surprises in
Monica Lewinsky’s Testimony
Monica Lewinsky’s Testimony
- Ken Starr’s original request was for Monica’s dress with the “sequin” on it.
- Vince Foster actually killed by a jealous O. J.
- Stain turns out to be McDonald’s “Secret Sauce.”
- Still has the blue jumper she wore in kindergarten when Johnny threw his spaghetti at Suzy and missed.
- Sometimes, even the president just likes to cuddle.
- If you tickle Bubba in just the right place, he *does* inhale.
- Linda Tripp confided that she hopes Ed Asner plays her in the movie.
- Out of all the gifts he gave her, the gold-embossed “Get out of jail free” card from the Franklin Mint’s edition of Monopoly showed how thoughtful the President really is.
- Breaks wind whenever she removes the beret.
- Despite his centrist politics, Bill’s more of a “leftist,” if you get my drift.
- Although not advertised, anyone tuned into www.MyFirstPresident.com saw the whole thing!
- Clinton’s fondness for berets once led to an embarrassing incident with Saddam Hussein.
- Surprise introduction of semen-stained window drapes, car hood and toaster cozy.
And the Number 1 Surprise in Monica Lewinsky’s Testimony…
- Turns out BILL was the one wearing the dress.
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CREDITS
Selected from 126 submissions from 46 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 1 (12th #1)
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ — 2, 5
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 3, 9
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 3 (Hall of Famer)
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 4
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 5, 8
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 5
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA — 6
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 7
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 10
- Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI — 11
- M.J. Finan, Cleveland, OH — 12
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 12
- Sharon Silva, Clarksville, TN — 12
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA — 13
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 14
- Angie Pinegar, Springfield, MO — Topic
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — Banner Tag
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — Runners Up List
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
- Queen Latifah, New York, NY — Ambience
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