Surprises During the Pope’s Visit to Cuba

The list for January 28, 1998
The Top 16 Surprises During
the Pope’s Visit to Cuba

  1. The leader of Catholicism and the leader of Communism locate common ground: “Bring us the head of Pauly Shore!”

  2. Race after race, the Popemobile blew the doors off the Castromobile.

  3. It’s damn hard to condemn Fidel when he looks so cute trying on the robe and “offering blessings” in the mirror.

  4. Local cuisine of black beans gave new meaning to the term “Holy Smoke.”

  5. Calling him “Juan Pablo Dos” pisses him off right quick.

  6. Castro: Communist dictator, cigar aficionado, “The Young & the Restless” addict.

  7. More major food groups found in Castro’s beard than in Pope’s hat.

  8. CIA spy photos mistake Pope’s hat for nuclear missile.

  9. Topic of Pope’s farewell speech: “That Urkel’s just not as funny in Spanish.”

  10. Turning water into wine minimizes the chances of food poisoning by 30%.

  11. On the Havana black market, one Popemobile hubcap fetches two cows and six chickens.

  12. Poor Samba technique now a venial sin.

  13. To commemorate the Pope’s visit, Fidel let the entire county stay up past their 9 o’clock bedtime.

  14. Communion wafers topped with jack cheese and jalapenos.

  15. Castro a masculine, yet tender, waltz partner.
And the Number 1 Surprise During the Pope’s Visit to Cuba…

  1. His Holiness in Havana was upstaged by His Horniness in D.C.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 150 submissions from 60 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 1 (16th #1)
  • Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL — 2, 11
  • Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — 3
  • Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA — 4
  • Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 5
  • Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 6
  • Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL — 7
  • Jennifer Markes, West Hollywood, CA — 8
  • Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC — 9
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 10, 15
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 10
  • Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 12
  • Rick Welshans, Alexandria, VA — 13
  • Peg Warner, Exeter, NH — 14
  • Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 15
  • Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 16
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — Topic
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA — Banner Tag
  • The Main Ingredient, Harlem, NY — Ambience
T5Jan2898.shtml

Previous post:

Next post: