The list for November 13, 1996
The Top 12 Signs You’ve Picked
the Wrong Babysitter
the Wrong Babysitter
- He brings Emmanuel Lewis wearing an identical outfit.
- You *thought* you called Bob, but Bill shows up.
- By the time you get home, your daughter is a certified Amway rep.
- Not only are the Oreos gone, she also used the last of your heroin.
- Carries the baby by sinking her teeth into the scruff of its neck.
- References include a pardon from the governor.
- Scabs around the swastika scar on his forehead look like they might be infectious.
- When you return, the kids are gone and Mrs. Brubaker has gained 200 lbs.
- As you’re leaving, asks if you know the country code for Iceland.
- She’s wearing more black than Johnny Cash and Richard Lewis combined.
- Asks for payment in advance to put a deposit on a keg.
And the Number 1 Sign You’ve Picked the Wrong Babysitter…
- Offers to throw in a circumcision for an extra 10 bucks.
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CREDITS
Selected from 106 submissions by 38 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 1 (5th #1)
- Michael Migdol, Osaka, Japan — 2
- Kris Johnson, Burbank, CA — 3
- Duncan Carling, San Francisco, CA — 4
- Robin Starveling, Dallas, TX — 5
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 6
- Gene/Cynthia Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT — 7
- David Hyatt, New York, NY — 8
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 9
- Meredith Ogden, Ithaca, NY — 10
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 11, Topic
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO — 12
- Chris White, NY, NY — Listmeister
T5111396