The list for April 8, 2013
The Top 13 Signs You’ve
Hired the Wrong Escort
Hired the Wrong Escort
- After your orgasm, she informs you that *her* understanding of a "happy ending" is you paying full college tuition for the child you likely just conceived.
- His name is Tony Bananas and he’s wearing a canary yellow spandex leotard.
- Has to get done in time for iCarly, then homework.
- "I recognize you from your website, Senator!"
- Says protection isn’t necessary, as there’s nothing you could have that she hasn’t caught already.
- Insists on getting paid "in cuddles."
- She was directed to your hotel room by a border collie.
- You take a shot of whiskey; she takes a shot. You take off your jacket; she takes off hers. You scratch your balls; she scratches hers.
- Offers you a discount if you drive her to her next two appointments.
- Brings her own beer. And opens it with her remaining tooth.
- Gets all pissy when you try to swipe a debit card in her ass crack.
- You ask for an Around the World; she gives you Asian flu, African rubella and Amazon Crotch.
And the Number 1 Sign You’ve Hired the Wrong Escort…
- "Doggy style" consists of growling, then lifting her leg and peeing on you.
.
CREDITS
Selected from 88 submissions from 31 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jill Gallagher, Seattle, WA — 1 (22nd #1)
- Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan — 2
- Kim Moser, New York, NY — 3, 10
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — 3
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 3
- SarahJayne Bennett, London, England — 4
- Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY — 5
- Lori Petterson, Fairfax, VA — 6
- Kevin Dopart, Washington, DC — 7
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA — 8
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA — 9
- J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 11
- Roy Skogstrom, Pepeekeo, HI — 12
- Adela Branson, Soda Springs, ID — 13
- Brandon Eldridge, St. Louis, MO — 3
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 3
- Adrienne Commeree, Olympia, WA — Topic
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT — Banner Tag
- Chris White, Olympia, WA — List owner/editor
T5040813.shtml
