The list for January 21, 1998
The Top 16 Signs You’ve Got Super Bowl Fever
- For every bottle of Bud you drink, you smash a bottle of Bud Light into a million pieces and declare "Get used to it buddy, there’s gonna be more where that came from!"
- Rather than taking down your Christmas lights, you re-arrange them to spell "Broncos Suck."
- You’ve sent your rainbow wig out for its yearly clean-and-fluff.
- Simply *got* to drink the beer, but refuse to miss any of the game or the cool commercials? Hey, "Depends" aren’t only for the incontinent!
- Delirious, absurd thoughts of a possible AFC victory are going through your fevered head.
- Your hair is matted like an Albert, you’re as swollen as a Madden and you’re sweating like a Gifford.
- Unable to afford the ticket scalpers’ prices on your own, you’ve just sent your daughter into town with a nice gentleman.
- You never before stopped to consider how gorgeous your wife would look in an orange-and-blue teddy.
- Suddenly, that green and yellow phlegm you just hacked up seems, well, darn right fervorous.
- 1) You’ve drawn really thick black lines under your eyes for the last month. 2) Your mother wasn’t Judy Garland.
- Unable to find a plastic cheesehead, you arrange to have a 30-pound slab of cheddar surgically attached to your forehead.
- You’ve painted your face green and yellow and you’re wearing a cheesehead to work, despite the protests of the family of the deceased.
- "Vinny, put me down for $50,000 on the Bud Dry team."
- Boss wouldn’t have minded you wearing your "Packer uniform" to work if it had consisted of something other than extensive tattooing.
- You’re constant talking about Brett Favre’s groin muscle has gotten your wife all excited.
And the Number 1 Signs You’ve Got Super Bowl Fever…
- Every damn cartoon beaver is starting to look like John Elway.
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CREDITS
Selected from 111 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC — 1, 4 (2nd #1)
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 2
- Keith Martin, Atlanta, GA — 3, 6
- Jay Allen, Long Beach, CA — 3, 11
- John Gennity, Woodhaven, NY — 3
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — 4
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 5
- Randy Wohl, Ma’ale Adumim, Israel — 5
- Geoff Brown, Farmington Hills, MI — 6
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 6
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 7, 10
- Jennifer Markes, West Hollywood, CA — 8
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 9
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA — 11, 12, 13
- Patrick New, Chicago, IL — 12
- Josh Fruhlinger, Oakland, CA — 12
- Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 14
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 15
- Annie Fisher, Philadelphia, PA — 16
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA — Topic
- Brian Ford, Boulder, CO — Banner Tag
- Bruce Springsteen, Asbury Park, NJ — Ambience
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
- Jellyfish, San Francisco, CA — Ambience
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