Signs You’re Taking Jimmy Buffett Way Too Seriously

The list for June 3, 1998
The Top 14 Signs You’re Taking
Jimmy Buffett Way Too Seriously

  1. If he doesn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize in Literature this year, you’re ready to kick some major Swedish butt.

  2. You never leave the house without first sprinkling a little sand in your underwear.

  3. First in line for those "Riverdance Featuring Jimmy Buffett" tickets.

  4. Truckload of limes and 10 cubic yards of salt laying on your driveway gives you away.

  5. You’re anxiously awaiting the new album for your next backwards masked message now that you’ve successfully "eliminated" Jerry Garcia.

  6. Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops always figure into your "Casual Fridays" ensemble.

  7. Taking a boat out on the bay on a lazy afternoon with a case of Jamaican rum is all well and good, but this the sort of thing that got you fired from Exxon a few years back?

  8. Jimmy Buffett velvet paintings — check.
    Jimmy Buffett Collector’s Edition porcelain figurines — check.
    Jimmy Buffett autographed beer stein — check.
    Jimmy Buffett certified-as-authentic "Cheeseburger in Paradise"

  9. Every morning, you put salt on the rim of your coffee mug.

  10. You become clinically depressed when the tequila finally erodes the glue of your favorite bong.

  11. You know the words to the other Jimmy Buffett song.

  12. Due to tequila-induced confusion, you spend two hours watching PBS’s "Magritte."

  13. You show up at Wayne Newton concerts just to yell, "You Suck! Buffett Kicks Ass!! Yeah!!!"
And the Number 1 Sign You’re Taking Jimmy Buffett Way Too Seriously…

  1. The doctor at the emergency room calls the SPCA over your confusion regarding the term "parrot head."
.
CREDITS
Selected from 91 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Matt Siske, Dayton, OH — 1, Banner Tag (1st #1!)
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 1 (24th #1)
  • Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 2, 12
  • David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 3
  • David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 4
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 5
  • Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA — 6
  • Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN — 7
  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 8
  • Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 9
  • Peter Rogers, Boston, MA — 9
  • Martell Stroup, Boston, MA — 10
  • Alan Wagner, Bayside, WI — 11
  • Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL — 13
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 14
  • Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — RU List Name
  • Bill Ervin, Tualatin, OR — Topic
  • Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
  • Veruca Salt, — Ambience
T5060398

Previous post:

Next post: