Signs You’re Pledging the Wrong Sorority or Fraternity

The list for September 6, 1996

The Top 18 Signs You’re Pledging
the Wrong Sorority or Fraternity

Three Words: Sigma Alpha Macarena.
Nobody joins in your armpit rendition of Louie, Louie.
Each meeting turns into an argument between the two of you about who gets to be president and who gets to be vice president.
Every spring break: a bitchin’ road trip to the Nixon Library.
You’re the ONLY minority to pledge Kappa Kappa Kappa.
A bunch of college guys sitting around knitting and reading romance novels is just too damn weird.
Assembly room features a runway and posters of Dennis Rodman in drag.
The secret handshake involves removing your pants.
Pledge week started with a shaved head and toga party, but now you’re selling flowers at the airport.
"Republican Convention?!" ROOOOAD TRIIIIP!"
"Tropical Nights" party is authentic right down to the malaria epidemic.
Initiation involves flying a crop duster over the White House.
Every time someone yells "Biff! Muffy’s on the phone!" the whole damn house comes running.
Every Monday night is Melrose Place/self-breast-exam night.
In EVERY room, at EVERY function, out of EVERY speaker: John Tesh
Their idea of a wild party: slam out a few pages of code, then memorize Star Trek dialogue.
Their good looks, fabulous wealth, and popularity are sure signs that they’re gonna get their comeuppance in a big, humiliating way by a ragtag group of misfits at Homecoming.

And the Number 1 Sign You’re Pledging the Wrong Sorority or Fraternity…

CREDITS

Selected from 132 submissions by 49 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5090696