Signs You’re in a Pauly Shore Movie

The list for May 27, 1997
The Top 16 Signs You’re
in a Pauly Shore Movie

  1. Your "Will Act For Food" sign was evidently misread as "Will Act For Fool."

  2. You can trace your character’s lineage directly back to Spicoli in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."

  3. All you were told is that you got a part in a movie, and you play someone more inane than Pauly Shore.

  4. You’re irritating, marginally coherent, and comically dressed, yet chicks are diggin’ you.

  5. You have numerous sex scenes, but your only speaking line is "Baaaa!"

  6. Screen test for part consisted of humiliating fraternity prank involving a hot dog and a flight of stairs.

  7. The director asks you, Jim Carrey, Gilbert Gottfried, and Tim Conway to "dumb it down just a little more."

  8. Your body contains more silicon than Deep Blue.

  9. You bet your agent that she couldn’t cast you in anything stupider than the "Ernest" series.

  10. No male actors over 5′ 4".

  11. You work with your acting coach for weeks to totally nail down the inner character of "Totally Harsh Dude #2."

  12. 20% of budget set aside for "breaking wind" sound effects.

  13. After a day’s shooting, you’re beaten senseless in an alley by an enraged Siskel & Ebert.

  14. All the extras cover their faces like prisoners on the 6 o’clock news.

  15. You’re surrounded by brilliant Shakespearean Actors, all of whom have a balloon payment due on their beach house.
And the Number 1 Sign You’re In a Pauly Shore Movie…

  1. Daisy Fuentes co-stars as the President of the United States.
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CREDITS
Selected from 100 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:

  • Fred Hesby, Portland, OR — 1 (1th #1)
  • Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA — 2
  • Dave George, Arlington, VA — 3, 9
  • Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI — 4
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA — 5
  • R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA — 6
  • Vickie Neilson, Carlsbad, CA — 7
  • Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 8
  • David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 8
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 10
  • Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — 10
  • Martell Stroup, Reno, NV — 11
  • Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 12
  • Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 13
  • Debbie Lander, Las Vegas, NV — 14
  • Marianne Tatom, Austin, TX — 15
  • Gregory Swarthout, Murray, UT — 16
  • Ken Shinodo, Bend, OR — Runner Up list name
  • Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/editor
T5052797

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