The list for October 8, 1997
The Top 15 Signs You’re
Dating a Hockey Player
Dating a Hockey Player
- Eating the last Fig Newton gets you bodychecked into the fridge.
- He’s very sensitive on the topic of "stick curvature."
- When eating steak, asks you to chew it for him.
- After going out, makes you line up and shake hands with all his ex-girlfriends.
- Constantly gets the urge to whack "Whiskers" out the cat door with a broom.
- It’s bad enough he consummates lovemaking by shouting, "He scores!" — was it really necessary to install the red light above his bed?
- During arguments he sends you to the penalty box for "2 minutes for pissing me off."
- Her name is Olga, she’s built like Stallone, and she starts a fight at least once per period.
- He refuses to valet park the Zamboni.
- For breakfast, she hands each kid a spoon and tosses an Eggo in the middle of the table.
- For your anniversary, gives you a charm bracelet made of his teeth.
- When he tries to "Marv Albert" your back, there’s absolutely no danger of him breaking the skin.
- Demanded credit for an assist when you slept with his best friend.
- Favorite Restaurant: Dinner in a Blender
And the Number 1 Sign You’re Dating a Hockey Player…
- Talks funny and likes to beat up people, but doesn’t come from Alabama.
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CREDITS
Selected from 101 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC — 1 (5th #1)
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 2
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY — 3
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 4, Banner Tag
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 5
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO — 6, 11
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 7, 10
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX — 7
- Natasha Filipovic, New York, NY — 7
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL — 8, 13
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA — 9
- Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA — 12, 14
- Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA — 15
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX — Topic
- Chris White, New York, NY — Owner/editor
- Vanilla Ice, whereabouts unknown — Ambience
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