The list for February 11, 1998
The Top 15 Signs You’re
Dating a Control Freak
Dating a Control Freak
- During lovemaking, remains levitated just above a perfectly made bed and insists you do likewise.
- Not only cuts up your steak for you, but numbers it as well.
- The blindfold. The cuffs. The way she makes you yell "Thank you, Ms. Reno! May I have another?"
- After you reach over to unlock his car door, he makes you do it again the *right* way.
- He accedes to a romantic horse and buggy ride through Central Park — *if* they let him drive.
- Becomes furious if you have on your Tuesday socks at 11:30 pm Monday night.
- "He’s carrying a copy of "Men are From Mars, Women Should Just Do What I Say".
- "You idiot! That’s not how you send a submission to the Top 5 list! Here, give me that keyboard."
- If you use the wrong fork at dinner, she jabs the correct one into your neck.
- When you threaten to leave her, she responds screaming, "And do what, Pretty Boy? Another AAMCO commercial?!?"
- Swears she wouldn’t correct you about your breathing if you weren’t "doing it all wrong."
- She sits on the couch and heckles that sloppy Martha Stewart Show.
- Refuses to let you call Mia on Mother’s Day.
- His TV remote has a PIN number.
And the Number 1 Sign You’re Dating a Control Freak…
- She keeps telling you that even though you’re just a humble boy from Arkansas now, if you stick with her, you’ll be President someday.
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CREDITS
Selected from 113 submissions from 42 contributors.
Today’s list authors were:
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA — 1 (5th #1)
- Denis Rubin, Los Angeles, CA — 2
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA — 3
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA — 4
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY — 5, 8
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY — 5, 10
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD — 6
- Tisha Stacey, Lisle, IL — 7
- Kevin Freels, Sun Valley, CA — 9
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA — 11
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA — 12
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA — 13
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA — 14
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA — 15
- Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA — Runner Up list name
- Don Swain, Pontiac, MI — Topic
- Nathan Hansar, Canberra, Australia — Banner Tag
- Chris White, New York, NY — List owner/moderator
- Rick James, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
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