Signs You’re Attending a Bad Law School

The list for June 20, 1997

The Top 15 Signs You’re Attending
a Bad Law School

Materials needed for Torts 101 include a baking sheet and apron.
Morley Safer and his camera crew are on campus more often than you are.
If you last the entire eight weeks, Sally Struthers personally signs your diploma.
Admission test, found on back of a matchbook, requires you to draw Marcia Clark’s briefs.
Faculty recruited from the exercise yard.
The dean once failed to get James Earl Jones acquitted on a charge that he “talks like a sissy.”
Professors always accept the Fifth Amendment as an excuse for not turning in homework.
Every question answered with, “You can’t handle the truth!”
Two words: Dean Wapner
Three hours a day of chasing a little metal ambulance around a dog track.
In mock trials, the judge always sentences you to a spanking.
Today’s lecture: “Fight for Your Right to Party” by visiting professor Adam “The King AdRock” Horovitz.
Your roommate is on a John Gotti Scholarship.
Can’t see the blackboard over Axl Rose’s hair.

And the Number 1 Sign You’re Attending a Bad Law School…

The white wigs and black robes may be a tradition, but there’s no explaining the lipstick, garter belts and high heels.

CREDITS

Selected from 146 submissions from 50 contributors.

Today’s list authors were:

T5062097